


dancing is a dangerous game

by independentalto



Series: you drew stars around my scars [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate POV, Angst and Feels, F/F, i wrote this purely to get this out of my head, may's golden dragon series, songfic sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:20:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28023057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/independentalto/pseuds/independentalto
Summary: A short telling of the homecoming dance, but as from Jade's point of view.(Chapter 31 of May's Golden Dragon is highly recommended for this to emotionally make sense, May's Golden Dragon as a whole is recommended for this to make any sense at all.)
Relationships: Skye | Daisy Johnson/Original Female Character(s)
Series: you drew stars around my scars [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2052555
Comments: 10
Kudos: 14





	dancing is a dangerous game

**Author's Note:**

> I literally wrote this for myself, LMAO. It's the homecoming dance between Skye and Jade as told by Jade's point of view. While in the original chapter, "Crazier" by Taylor Swift was playing, in this, "Secret Love Song, pt. ii" by Little Mix is playing -- and whether that's in Jade's head or not is up to you :)

_ “I think you and I both know who your royalty partner is.” _

Jade Wong hates rom-coms. 

She wouldn’t go so far to say it’s a personality trait of hers – that title belongs to future Jade telling as many of her homophobic family members as possible that she’s gay in a unique way – but there’s something about rom-coms that makes her want to snarl in disgust and exit Netflix. Perhaps it’s the predictability of the plots. The fact that every leading actor and actress look the same across the movies. The audacity of  _ every single movie  _ to feature a heterosexual couple achieving the same sugary sweet happy ending. 

_ Maybe it’s just because they end up happy,  _ a voice in her mind whispers to her.  _ Maybe it’s because, every single time, they’ll get what you’ll never have.  _

Because that’s what it is in the end, isn’t it? At the end of the day, the idea that she’ll ever be able to come out to anyone besides her parents leaves her paralyzed where she stands. She can already imagine her relatives’ reactions – some revulsion, some disgust, a couple of confused expressions thrown in for good measure. Faces that she’s revered since she was a child, faces that greet her with genuine smiles and crushing hugs every time she’s forced to go to family gatherings; faces that have imbued her childhood with saccharine memories, disdain carved into their faces forevermore and her relationship with them in permanent tatters. 

Is it worth risking the love of the people who practically raised her for the sliver of a chance at true happiness? To say the odds outweigh each other in favor of the former is putting it simply – it’s interwoven with family obligations, guilt complexes and the concept of saving more than just your face. Jade’s seen the way her mother interacts with her sisters; for all of the facade she puts on, she knows that without her aunts, Jade’s mother will be nothing but a lonely ballerina, clawing at the stage curtains for even the smallest shred of attention. And  _ all  _ of Jade’s actions reflect on her mother’s reputation – one wrong move and their relationships are toast. 

She’s not sure she’d be able to deal with the guilt roiling in the aftermath of it all. Better to withhold her own happiness than to have her actions ruin it for everyone else. 

So she hates rom-coms, hates them for advertising happiness and significant others and everything in between. She hates watching people kiss on New Year’s Eve and bumping into people carrying rose bouquets down the street on Valentine’s Day. She hates that those people get to be  _ happy _ , because how had she been born into the exact circumstances where being happy would do nothing but guarantee direct hostility for the rest of her life? 

She thinks she’s got the hang of it, being alone. But then – then, just as soon as she’s recuperated from a summer at home wallowing in her own guilt, just as soon as she thinks she’s learned how to stagger her way through her days without pain – Skye May walks into her life, doe eyes in the headlights and a healthy amount of figuring out to do – and it’s like she’s sliced open again from head to toe, her desire for happiness a live wire ready to jump given the slightest opportunity.

Despite her best efforts, Skye’s ivy climbing her stone walls and rooting herself into her foundation, her leaves tantalizing Jade with promises of happiness and what could be. And now, with the entire dining room watching, she’s going to have to spend an entire three minutes holding Skye in the ways only lovers should without falling utterly to pieces over the fact that it is simply something she  _ cannot have.  _

_ Every time I see you, I die a little more _

“You still know how to do this?” Skye teases, and the moment her hand slides into Jade’s, something bigger slides into place, echoing into every nook and cranny of Jade’s bones with the rightness of it all.Jade's jacket has progressed from being draped over her shoulders to being shrugged on, the sleeves sagging slightly and the hem falling slightly past her hips. 

She understands, now, why the varsity players are so satisfied over their girlfriends wearing their letterman jackets. It’s _terrifying._

_ Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls _

_ It’ll never be enough _

It can’t hurt to pull Skye close – it’s what you do during a slow dance, after all – and suddenly, the two of them are almost chest to nose, the space between them heavy and almost infinitesimal. And it’s just like in the rom-coms: she can practically feel the air leave her windpipe when Skye’s eyes meet hers, a whisper of cold rushing from her throat and through her mouth at the realization that  _ yes,  _ this may be the closest she will ever hold her. 

_ I wish it could be like that _

_ Why can’t we be like that _

“I never forgot,” she whispers, and her hands find Skye’s waist like it’s fate, like she was meant to put them there, like she was  _ meant  _ to find happiness in her best friend and get the happily every after she deserves – “In case you haven’t noticed, you’re kind of hard to forget.” – and now Skye’s arms are linked around her neck and their foreheads are touching and she’s  _ warm  _ and  _ soft  _ and the  _ care  _ that’s seeping into her skin from her touch, it’s everything Jade wants and wishes for in the moments she’s all alone – 

It is  _ everything  _ she will never be able to have. 

“Yeah, well, I’m sure there’s no shortage of girls lining up the block for you,”  _ I would do it if you asked.  _ “You could have anyone you wanted.” 

_ Cause I’m yours _

It’s a preposterous idea, really – that Jade could have anyone else but Skye, that Jade would want anyone else  _ but  _ Skye – and her laugh is low, flush with self-recognizance and slight defeat. The blush that paints Skye’s cheeks afterwards is enough to rival the beginnings of any sunset, however, and does nothing to quash the ember of hope that’s beginning to peek out from among the ashes of her ruined summer. _ It can’t happen.  _ “Trust me, the person I want is kind of out of reach at the moment,”

_ Why can’t I say that I’m in love _

_ I wanna shout it from the rooftops _

“Well, then, it’s absolutely her fucking loss.” _ More like her benefit, _ Jade muses with an internally bitter smile, a burst of cold air swooping in to match the sentiment as she twirls Skye under her arm. Back at Belleview, people joked that the allure of her green eyes was a strength – hypnotizing, they said, enough to lure any man under her spell. Now, the color’s simply a reminder of the toxicity she radiates with her dependency, and the fact that Skye’s advocating for her means that she’ll soon succumb to her poison’s effects. “You deserve to have someone that knows you like them, you know?” 

Advocating meant faith, faith meant emotional perception, and emotional perception meant a reliance that would eventually drain the both of them. She won’t do that to Skye. Not after everything Skye’s done for her., and certainly not while Skye’s still warm and vibrant and sees Jade as someone she can depend on rather than other way around. She won’t be the one responsible for that sort of trauma. She _won’t._

_ I don’t wanna live love this way _

She reaches instead to cradle Skye’s cheek, the wire zapping to life and skimming across every nerve ending in Jade’s fingertips. Ever so slowly, she swipes her index finger to catch a stray eyelash that’s fallen across the cheekbone. “And you deserve someone who likes you for you,” she whispers back, the words floating off of her lips with the wisp of hair.  _ Someone that sees you for the whole you, not just your relations or your titles. Someone that won’t destroy you in the process with her needs. “ _ Someone that can love you the way –”  _ the way I do – “ _ someone that can love and appreciate you for everything you are.”

_ Pick me. Choose me. Love me.  _

“Well, until then, I think you’re stuck with me,” Skye murmurs, and suddenly, the ember in Jade’s chest is a full-fledged flame, burning wild and bright with a hope that is too far off in the future to ever be truly viable. But fire is addicting, and she watches its light dance with the shadows of her demons, and before she knows it, it’s all-consuming, burning down her carefully-constructed stone walls without abandon and tantalizing her to let her guard down, to rest. “And unfortunately for you, I’m not looking to start looking for that person anytime soon.” 

But there’s no rest for the wicked, Jade knows, and as much as she yearns to believe in the contrary, there will only be so long before she commits an irreparable mistake and wrecks them beyond any semblance of repair. It is, perhaps, a self-fulfilling prophecy, but it’s the prophecy foretold by her parents that of all the things in her life, there’s not been a single one she’s been able to get right without their help. 

Everything she’s touched on her own has ended in fiery ruin, and if she razes this to ash, too, it’s that permanent pain she’ll have to learn to live with evermore.

_ Why can’t we be like that, wish we could be like that… _

**Author's Note:**

> there's like three references and they all pretty well demonstrate what I'm on now, LMAO.
> 
> thanks for reading! all feedback is appreciated <3


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